To cure heart by art, illness by medicine. My second lesson, on the way of becoming a music teacher is literally not easy. I've so much to worry about but I couldn't find any guides or answer for it. All I've was, Why? I know nothing either.
While, I was lying on my bed last night, deleting 1109 messages in my inbox. I read through again before deleting and I kept some for memories instead. There's one text saying, "don't get distracted by those unnecessarily feelings. (Etc. Family/Relationship)" You know, it's not easy to do it after all. This is the cross that I've to carry. I'm not worrying about any relationship. Infact, I'm flying free now. Free from those unnecessarily things that had caught up with this last person was indeed a bad experiences for me. He's trying to put blame on me where I got so frustrated, and he just disappeared after saying a sincerely apologize. Let me tell you, it's not enough. As simple as abc. I think you yourself know the best.
I want to play my music as if no ones business. But, there's always this barrier. It's so hard to cross over. I'm practically living very well, less than a year. Because of those pressure that have given in the past, which put me in the hospital for a week. I tone down a lot in my work and almost everything. The only cure was, music now. I asked E, whether I should step into it. He replied was, "Yes, you've got the talent and you should go ahead." I asked and re-consider so many times whether I should spend another one to two years time is this music. As you know, I can play but I've no foundation in my theory.
Continue later...
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